My hall looks as though Santa crashed into it earlier tonight. In fact, I think I can see antlers, oh god.
I decided that if I couldn't get outside by myself then gnashing and wailing and howling and sobbing wasn't going to inspire anyone to help me get outside, so I closed the door and got stuck into the terribly mundane and unseasonal act of spring cleaning and sorting misc.
Why does tidying make such a mess?
The Forest Cafe has a fundraising arts and craft fair lined up for the near future and I'm sure there's a jumble sale in the offing as well. It's a very good cause and the destination for the contents of my cupboard. If anyone wants to collect it, feel free, but there's a stack of stuff and I don't know what's wanted/ what'll sell. When its gone I'll be able to see my kitchen floor again and then there will be mucho baking for bartering. There will even be a clear table top for monoprinting, oh yes. The frustration and rage of this cabin fever on top of sleep reversal (not getting to sleep till 6am even with the best drugs is taking the piss) has made me strict and ruthless towards innocent cupboard contents.
The observant amongst you will notice that today's achievements do not include any useful or overdue W-R-I-T-I-N-G or A-R-T. If I put a fraction of my abilities into creating instead of repeatedly packing, unpacking and clearing space then I'd be onto my fifth novel and my sixteenth exhibition - or running an international furniture moving business.
However, today's 'unstoppable force' award goes to the staff of the pharmacy HS Kidd for trekking through the snow to ensure they delivered every home-delivery prescription :-)
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Sunday, 28 November 2010
how to torture anyone
I was all ready. All waterproofs, thermals and art stuff I need in just one rucksack. Little plastic spade for building snowmen, biscuits and flask in case I meet anyone who needs sustenance (was thinking of the sit-in students or broken down drivers rather than myself at teatime), broken thumb strapped (I can use the scooter as long as I don't need to reverse), scooter recharged after quite a long neglect courtesy of the shingles, and a todo list that reaches hogmanay.
But I can't see any cleared or gritted paths nearby that I can use here or where I was headed, and if they were clear the falling snow must have covered it. In the absence of pushers wearing crampons (a good option in theory, but not nearby) I'm stuck. I'm well and truly stuck. I'm actually more upset about not being able to get into fresh air, snowy scenery, photogenic cityscapes or make my own snowman than anything else, but I assure you that's a severe enough last straw this weekend.
Ok, I know that the situation would be worse if I was a doctor with an emergency I couldn't reach, or if I had livestock to feed, or if my house needed a plumber who was herself iced in somewhere, but those things aside, this is my reality and all I wanted to do was get outside, throw my cabin fever into the sea, and join in with humans. Second on my list was getting to the shop round the corner. After a month of being stuck indoors, mainly in bed, sick and in agony, I am finally well enough to ditch the crappy wheelchair that requires a pusher, strong enough to use the scooter, finally well enough to get outside by myself - and I'm stuck on the doorstep unable to do anything except listen to the distant laughter of folk playing on the snowy beach. This wasn't the kind of by myself bit that I was after.
I do not have the words to tell you how much I loathe the indoors, claustrophobia, avoidable obstacles or my stupid useless wheels.
But I can't see any cleared or gritted paths nearby that I can use here or where I was headed, and if they were clear the falling snow must have covered it. In the absence of pushers wearing crampons (a good option in theory, but not nearby) I'm stuck. I'm well and truly stuck. I'm actually more upset about not being able to get into fresh air, snowy scenery, photogenic cityscapes or make my own snowman than anything else, but I assure you that's a severe enough last straw this weekend.
Ok, I know that the situation would be worse if I was a doctor with an emergency I couldn't reach, or if I had livestock to feed, or if my house needed a plumber who was herself iced in somewhere, but those things aside, this is my reality and all I wanted to do was get outside, throw my cabin fever into the sea, and join in with humans. Second on my list was getting to the shop round the corner. After a month of being stuck indoors, mainly in bed, sick and in agony, I am finally well enough to ditch the crappy wheelchair that requires a pusher, strong enough to use the scooter, finally well enough to get outside by myself - and I'm stuck on the doorstep unable to do anything except listen to the distant laughter of folk playing on the snowy beach. This wasn't the kind of by myself bit that I was after.
I do not have the words to tell you how much I loathe the indoors, claustrophobia, avoidable obstacles or my stupid useless wheels.
Thursday, 11 November 2010
how to torture a writer
Not sure if I'll be able to type this with my left hand but here goes.
It doesn't seem right to be thinking about myself on the 11th day of the 11th month, and to be fair at 11am I wasn't, but I feel the need to write.
I have shingles. I now have newfound medical knowledge. I have lost the use of my right arm. I am in agony and have no comfortable position to leave the useless arm in. On top of ME, this illness may have a nasty outcome, but we're not thinking about that today, no we're not.
In case you're fortunate enough to be unaware of shingles, its kinda chickenpox 2.0. Everyone who gets chickenpox carries the dormant virus around with them for the rest of their life. If you're lucky, you'll never see the little bastard again, but about 1 in 5 will see it re-emerge - as shingles. Usually those with compromised immune systems (tadaaah) or who are under a lot of stress/ sleeplessness (oops, that too) When chickenpox re-emerges, it does so via a nerve (pick a perve, any nerve) in a localised band of blisters, skin pain, neurological pain and muscular weakness that can last for months. In my case it's along the top right cross-section of my torso, plus arm.
I'm taking five hefty doses of antivirals a day but I've only just learned that they're only really effective if you start taking them as soon as the rash appears. As the rash could be anything until it really emerges in full and the other syptoms give enough clues, and as GPs are unavailable over the weekend (my traditional timing for new conditions/ injuries), it's pretty unlikely you'll get them on the most valuable day. My rash appeared on Thursday looking exactly like my teenage eczema. I thought I also had pulled muscles and the flu. It wasn't till Saturday morning that I could see how specific the rash was and how it had stabbing pains deep underneath like no eczema has, with surrounding skin that felt too scalded to touch. And I knew that I couldn't see a GP til Monday.
Obviously there was the option of a taxi to A&E to see a doctor, but you try turning up in your A&E on a Saturday night with a rash and see how impressed the doctor is, never mind what else you'll catch in the seven hours it'll take to be seen. Fortunately I had an idea what it might be by now, though no knowledge of what it meant (thankfully) and even better, my beloved virtual flatmate is a doctor. Alas, a non-prescribing doc, but getting a likely diagnosis on an array of nasty symptoms was enough to get me to sleep.
On Monday I was lucky enough to get an appointment. Moreover it was with a great GP who, having had shingles himself recently, knew what it was, was very keen to take it seriously and load me up with painkillers as well as the antivirals. His friendly, helpful bedside manner was what I needed at the time, but now that I learn more I see he didn't take enough notice of my already having ME and being fairly incapacitated and what the interaction was likely to mean, or if he did he didn't tell me.
I am in agony. I have a high pain threshhold but this is crazy pain, deep nerve pain that makes bones feel broken. It travels all the way up to the skin to blisters that are already getting infected despite my best efforts. Having skin too burning hot to bear the touch of clothing is not handy in winter. The nerve involved means that as from about midnight last night I lost the use of my right arm. For a righthanded person with a very weak left side due to the ME, who needs to put all weight on a stick to avoid falling on the way to the mobility scooter with right handed controls, this is not good. I'm going to have to call social services for a nurse/ aide now. I suppose I should just be grateful I didn't realise this after 5pm on a Friday.
I forgot to say, you can't catch shingles. I'd only be contagious if you hadn't had chickenpox in the past and rubbed my blisters hard enough to burst them. However, if you so much as tried to tap me on the shoulder right now, catching chickenpox would be the least of your worries.
I don't think this is going to be a productive writing week. I really just want to type AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHhhhhhhhh
It doesn't seem right to be thinking about myself on the 11th day of the 11th month, and to be fair at 11am I wasn't, but I feel the need to write.
I have shingles. I now have newfound medical knowledge. I have lost the use of my right arm. I am in agony and have no comfortable position to leave the useless arm in. On top of ME, this illness may have a nasty outcome, but we're not thinking about that today, no we're not.
In case you're fortunate enough to be unaware of shingles, its kinda chickenpox 2.0. Everyone who gets chickenpox carries the dormant virus around with them for the rest of their life. If you're lucky, you'll never see the little bastard again, but about 1 in 5 will see it re-emerge - as shingles. Usually those with compromised immune systems (tadaaah) or who are under a lot of stress/ sleeplessness (oops, that too) When chickenpox re-emerges, it does so via a nerve (pick a perve, any nerve) in a localised band of blisters, skin pain, neurological pain and muscular weakness that can last for months. In my case it's along the top right cross-section of my torso, plus arm.
I'm taking five hefty doses of antivirals a day but I've only just learned that they're only really effective if you start taking them as soon as the rash appears. As the rash could be anything until it really emerges in full and the other syptoms give enough clues, and as GPs are unavailable over the weekend (my traditional timing for new conditions/ injuries), it's pretty unlikely you'll get them on the most valuable day. My rash appeared on Thursday looking exactly like my teenage eczema. I thought I also had pulled muscles and the flu. It wasn't till Saturday morning that I could see how specific the rash was and how it had stabbing pains deep underneath like no eczema has, with surrounding skin that felt too scalded to touch. And I knew that I couldn't see a GP til Monday.
Obviously there was the option of a taxi to A&E to see a doctor, but you try turning up in your A&E on a Saturday night with a rash and see how impressed the doctor is, never mind what else you'll catch in the seven hours it'll take to be seen. Fortunately I had an idea what it might be by now, though no knowledge of what it meant (thankfully) and even better, my beloved virtual flatmate is a doctor. Alas, a non-prescribing doc, but getting a likely diagnosis on an array of nasty symptoms was enough to get me to sleep.
On Monday I was lucky enough to get an appointment. Moreover it was with a great GP who, having had shingles himself recently, knew what it was, was very keen to take it seriously and load me up with painkillers as well as the antivirals. His friendly, helpful bedside manner was what I needed at the time, but now that I learn more I see he didn't take enough notice of my already having ME and being fairly incapacitated and what the interaction was likely to mean, or if he did he didn't tell me.
I am in agony. I have a high pain threshhold but this is crazy pain, deep nerve pain that makes bones feel broken. It travels all the way up to the skin to blisters that are already getting infected despite my best efforts. Having skin too burning hot to bear the touch of clothing is not handy in winter. The nerve involved means that as from about midnight last night I lost the use of my right arm. For a righthanded person with a very weak left side due to the ME, who needs to put all weight on a stick to avoid falling on the way to the mobility scooter with right handed controls, this is not good. I'm going to have to call social services for a nurse/ aide now. I suppose I should just be grateful I didn't realise this after 5pm on a Friday.
I forgot to say, you can't catch shingles. I'd only be contagious if you hadn't had chickenpox in the past and rubbed my blisters hard enough to burst them. However, if you so much as tried to tap me on the shoulder right now, catching chickenpox would be the least of your worries.
I don't think this is going to be a productive writing week. I really just want to type AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHhhhhhhhh
Friday, 5 November 2010
November dates for your diary
After that bombardment of fireworks, and with all that you were wearing now drying on the radiators, there can be no doubt that it is indeed November.
This year there was no shortage of effigies for the city's bonfires, marking as we have various reported scandals ranging from The Trams of Doom and NHS managers to this week's bankruptcy of the Edinburgh University Settlement; the owners of the buildings that housed The Roxy, The Forest Cafe and the GRV. The Forest fights on, so watch their website for all upcoming fundraisers and events so you can support them on this battle to stay open: http://www.theforest.org.uk/about
For those not planning to spend November bathed in NaNoWriMo ink, here are a few more (accessible) dates for the calender:
Inside The Herbarium: An Exhibition In Clay And Cloth
Sat 6 Nov 2010 — Sun 9 Jan 2011
Time:10.00 am
Location:Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh (find us)
Venue:Gateway Gallery, outside the Patrick Geddes Room, upstairs in the John Hope Gateway
Price:Free
Age:All ages
Booking:No booking required
Ceramic artist Lorna Fraser and embroiderer Lucy Head present a new body of work inspired by their time working in the herbarium. Having access to the vast collection of specimens has provided a rich vein for exploration and reference.
Tuesday 9th November
BREAKIN' CONVENTION
The Bongo Club, 37 Holyrood Road
11pm - 3am
In 2010 we are Breakin' Convention once again! As one of the world's largest Hip Hop Dance Theatre festivals rolls into town then it only seems fitting that we close proceedings with a suitably large After Party. Dropping B-Boy beats, funk, urban anthems, disco, electro and dub-step mash-ups will be a host of DJ talent including Colin Millar [Headspin], Fryer [Motherfunk/Jazzman Records], Tony Thrills [Milk/Foundation) and Isla Blige.
Expect no-nonsense dance floor action from some of Scotland's best hip hop crews, the Breakin' Convention team and also international breakdance stars from France and Germany.
This event is not to be missed so lace up your old shelltoes, dust off the retro trackies and make sure you boogie on down for some mid-week mayhem. £5.
For more info on Breakin' Convention Edinburgh which touches down on Nov 8th and 9th at Edinburgh Festival Theatre then please visit http://www.eft.co.uk or phone 0131 529 6000
A Swing Through Time: sources for golf history - Talk
Thursday 11 November, 5.45pm
The origins of golf are a matter of mystery and controversy. Only by piecing together evidence from documents and texts is it possible to gain an insight into the early days of the game. Scotland dominated golf until about 1900, giving the game its distinctive rules, language and courses. In this talk Olive Geddes, NLS curator, explores the written sources for the history of golf in Scotland.
An Edinburgh Bibliography Society Event
at the National Library of Scotland, George IV Bridge
Saturday 20th November
Auld Reekie Roller Girls vs Berlin
2pm afternoon match
Meadowbank Sports Centre
£8 (under 14s free)
http://www.arrg.co.uk/events.php
then head along the road to:
Saturday 20th November
Row Porty fundraising ceilidh
Row Porty (as in rowing boat!) invite you to their fundraising ceilidh with the Robert Fish Band.... on Saturday 20 NOVEMBER from 7pm – 11pm at Portobello Community Centre, Adelphi Grove, Portobello.
Tickets are £10 available from The Beach House on Portobello Promenade, Woodwares on Portobello High Street, or the hardy rowers themselves. When they're gone, they're gone
Cheques payable to Portobello Sailing and Kayak Club
Proceeds will go to help keep our existing community built boat, 'Ice Breaker', in the style that it is accustomed to, so that it can continue to be enjoyed by all. We will also be fundraising for what will be the biggest- and we hope the best - event on the skiff racing calendar when we once again bring the regatta to Porty in July 2011.
Please support us! See you all there.
http://rowporty.org.uk/
or, for those staying defiantly in town:
Saturday, 20th November, 7:30pm
Days of the Decameron
Music and Tales from Medieval Italy
Scotland's medieval music specialists Gaita present a programme of music and stories inspired by Boccaccio’s Decameron in which ten young nobles escape plague-ridden Florence for a villa in the hills, and spend ten days in singing, dancing and telling tales.
St James Episcopal Church
57b Inverleith Row, Edinburgh, EH3 5PX
Entry by Donation
For more information contact Chris Elmes: 0131 557 2397
Wednesday 24th November
Writers' Bloc Wee Red Gig
Wee Red Bar, Edinburgh College of Art, Lady Lawson Street
Do you write short fiction?
Can you read it on stage?
We think there are more than enough opportunities for performance poets
around Edinburgh and not nearly enough for performance prosers*. So
we're putting on a gig and we're looking for readers. You could be one.
The Wee Red Gig on Wednesday 24th November will showcase a number of
new voices, all delivering their own material to an enthusiastic audience.
If you're interested, send us the story or extract you want to read.
It can be up to 800 words.
The Wee Red Gig is organised by Writers' Bloc, a spoken word performance
collective which has been putting on themed shows in Edinburgh and
beyond for nine years. We like punchy, surprising, macabre or funny
work, mainstream or genre. Our veteran readers will be there to help
out and contribute five minutes of their own. We won't pay you, but we
will buy each reader a drink.
Has it got to be your own work? Yes!
Can you read poetry? No!
The submission address is weeredgig@gmx.co.uk and your deadline is
November 14th, so don't hang around!
* we do not like that word either.
http://www.writers-bloc.org.uk/
for something further out of town:
Lennoxlove Book Festival
19th - 21st November
Haddington
http://www.lennoxlovebookfestival.com/
and just in case you were wondering about NaNoWriMo...
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
This year there was no shortage of effigies for the city's bonfires, marking as we have various reported scandals ranging from The Trams of Doom and NHS managers to this week's bankruptcy of the Edinburgh University Settlement; the owners of the buildings that housed The Roxy, The Forest Cafe and the GRV. The Forest fights on, so watch their website for all upcoming fundraisers and events so you can support them on this battle to stay open: http://www.theforest.org.uk/about
For those not planning to spend November bathed in NaNoWriMo ink, here are a few more (accessible) dates for the calender:
Inside The Herbarium: An Exhibition In Clay And Cloth
Sat 6 Nov 2010 — Sun 9 Jan 2011
Time:10.00 am
Location:Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh (find us)
Venue:Gateway Gallery, outside the Patrick Geddes Room, upstairs in the John Hope Gateway
Price:Free
Age:All ages
Booking:No booking required
Ceramic artist Lorna Fraser and embroiderer Lucy Head present a new body of work inspired by their time working in the herbarium. Having access to the vast collection of specimens has provided a rich vein for exploration and reference.
Tuesday 9th November
BREAKIN' CONVENTION
The Bongo Club, 37 Holyrood Road
11pm - 3am
In 2010 we are Breakin' Convention once again! As one of the world's largest Hip Hop Dance Theatre festivals rolls into town then it only seems fitting that we close proceedings with a suitably large After Party. Dropping B-Boy beats, funk, urban anthems, disco, electro and dub-step mash-ups will be a host of DJ talent including Colin Millar [Headspin], Fryer [Motherfunk/Jazzman Records], Tony Thrills [Milk/Foundation) and Isla Blige.
Expect no-nonsense dance floor action from some of Scotland's best hip hop crews, the Breakin' Convention team and also international breakdance stars from France and Germany.
This event is not to be missed so lace up your old shelltoes, dust off the retro trackies and make sure you boogie on down for some mid-week mayhem. £5.
For more info on Breakin' Convention Edinburgh which touches down on Nov 8th and 9th at Edinburgh Festival Theatre then please visit http://www.eft.co.uk or phone 0131 529 6000
A Swing Through Time: sources for golf history - Talk
Thursday 11 November, 5.45pm
The origins of golf are a matter of mystery and controversy. Only by piecing together evidence from documents and texts is it possible to gain an insight into the early days of the game. Scotland dominated golf until about 1900, giving the game its distinctive rules, language and courses. In this talk Olive Geddes, NLS curator, explores the written sources for the history of golf in Scotland.
An Edinburgh Bibliography Society Event
at the National Library of Scotland, George IV Bridge
Saturday 20th November
Auld Reekie Roller Girls vs Berlin
2pm afternoon match
Meadowbank Sports Centre
£8 (under 14s free)
http://www.arrg.co.uk/events.php
then head along the road to:
Saturday 20th November
Row Porty fundraising ceilidh
Row Porty (as in rowing boat!) invite you to their fundraising ceilidh with the Robert Fish Band.... on Saturday 20 NOVEMBER from 7pm – 11pm at Portobello Community Centre, Adelphi Grove, Portobello.
Tickets are £10 available from The Beach House on Portobello Promenade, Woodwares on Portobello High Street, or the hardy rowers themselves. When they're gone, they're gone
Cheques payable to Portobello Sailing and Kayak Club
Proceeds will go to help keep our existing community built boat, 'Ice Breaker', in the style that it is accustomed to, so that it can continue to be enjoyed by all. We will also be fundraising for what will be the biggest- and we hope the best - event on the skiff racing calendar when we once again bring the regatta to Porty in July 2011.
Please support us! See you all there.
http://rowporty.org.uk/
or, for those staying defiantly in town:
Saturday, 20th November, 7:30pm
Days of the Decameron
Music and Tales from Medieval Italy
Scotland's medieval music specialists Gaita present a programme of music and stories inspired by Boccaccio’s Decameron in which ten young nobles escape plague-ridden Florence for a villa in the hills, and spend ten days in singing, dancing and telling tales.
St James Episcopal Church
57b Inverleith Row, Edinburgh, EH3 5PX
Entry by Donation
For more information contact Chris Elmes: 0131 557 2397
Wednesday 24th November
Writers' Bloc Wee Red Gig
Wee Red Bar, Edinburgh College of Art, Lady Lawson Street
Do you write short fiction?
Can you read it on stage?
We think there are more than enough opportunities for performance poets
around Edinburgh and not nearly enough for performance prosers*. So
we're putting on a gig and we're looking for readers. You could be one.
The Wee Red Gig on Wednesday 24th November will showcase a number of
new voices, all delivering their own material to an enthusiastic audience.
If you're interested, send us the story or extract you want to read.
It can be up to 800 words.
The Wee Red Gig is organised by Writers' Bloc, a spoken word performance
collective which has been putting on themed shows in Edinburgh and
beyond for nine years. We like punchy, surprising, macabre or funny
work, mainstream or genre. Our veteran readers will be there to help
out and contribute five minutes of their own. We won't pay you, but we
will buy each reader a drink.
Has it got to be your own work? Yes!
Can you read poetry? No!
The submission address is weeredgig@gmx.co.uk and your deadline is
November 14th, so don't hang around!
* we do not like that word either.
http://www.writers-bloc.org.uk/
for something further out of town:
Lennoxlove Book Festival
19th - 21st November
Haddington
http://www.lennoxlovebookfestival.com/
and just in case you were wondering about NaNoWriMo...
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)